It should disgust him or annoy him or embarrass him, the way his teacher touches his hands, and some part of Mo Ran is annoyed by it because he hates being in that room, focusing on something pointless and ridiculous like calligraphy, having to deal with Chu Wanning. But his hands are cold— and something in him hates that, why does Chu Wanning let himself get so cold? whoever is waiting for him better warm them up— and his touch gentle, for all the callouses on his hands.
But the larger part of him loves it, albeit reluctantly, unacknowledged. When he first saw Chu Wanning, he thought he was beautiful and kind and had wanted all of his attention. He's not that different from Xue Meng, although he knows his cousin is much more innocent in wanting their teacher's regard. Mo Ran's desire for his attention might have started out innocent, but nothing about his feelings, from his anger to the burning desire in his veins, is innocent anymore. Chu Wanning would be horrified. Everyone would be horrified. Part of Mo Ran is annoyed with it; why should he want his prudish teacher?
But all Chu Wanning does is demonstrate how to hold the brush; no harsh reprimands, a certain amount of concern in his voice that Mo Ran is sure he's only imagining. Why would Chu Wanning care if he gets callouses? They're just hands, and Mo Ran's always been good working with his hands, so it's likely he'll end up with them. It makes him want Chu Wanning's attention again, always. And as his teacher softens, so does Mo Ran.
He writes another character, and he does try this time, but it doesn't look neat— exactly as intended. He looks at Chu Wanning from beneath lowered lashes, his dark eyes gleaming purple, and gives him a woebegone smile. "Can laoshi show me again?" he asks, practically wheedling.
It's stupid. He knows it is, and knows Chu Wanning is just as likely to tell him to stop fooling around and focus. And he should, as the sooner he focuses, the faster he'll get this done and be free of this classroom and his teacher and the thoughts that drive him somewhat mad. (The sooner he leaves, the sooner he can handle the still-present erection in his pants; or, at the very least, he can get away from Chu Wanning and his every present scent and cool demeanor he wants to wreck and start thinking about things other than fucking his teacher.)
But Mo Ran is simple: he wants attention and affection, even from someone he dislikes. So he waits, cheeks dimpled, to see if Chu Wanning will take his hand again, and show him how to write the characters.
no subject
But the larger part of him loves it, albeit reluctantly, unacknowledged. When he first saw Chu Wanning, he thought he was beautiful and kind and had wanted all of his attention. He's not that different from Xue Meng, although he knows his cousin is much more innocent in wanting their teacher's regard. Mo Ran's desire for his attention might have started out innocent, but nothing about his feelings, from his anger to the burning desire in his veins, is innocent anymore. Chu Wanning would be horrified. Everyone would be horrified. Part of Mo Ran is annoyed with it; why should he want his prudish teacher?
But all Chu Wanning does is demonstrate how to hold the brush; no harsh reprimands, a certain amount of concern in his voice that Mo Ran is sure he's only imagining. Why would Chu Wanning care if he gets callouses? They're just hands, and Mo Ran's always been good working with his hands, so it's likely he'll end up with them. It makes him want Chu Wanning's attention again, always. And as his teacher softens, so does Mo Ran.
He writes another character, and he does try this time, but it doesn't look neat— exactly as intended. He looks at Chu Wanning from beneath lowered lashes, his dark eyes gleaming purple, and gives him a woebegone smile. "Can laoshi show me again?" he asks, practically wheedling.
It's stupid. He knows it is, and knows Chu Wanning is just as likely to tell him to stop fooling around and focus. And he should, as the sooner he focuses, the faster he'll get this done and be free of this classroom and his teacher and the thoughts that drive him somewhat mad. (The sooner he leaves, the sooner he can handle the still-present erection in his pants; or, at the very least, he can get away from Chu Wanning and his every present scent and cool demeanor he wants to wreck and start thinking about things other than fucking his teacher.)
But Mo Ran is simple: he wants attention and affection, even from someone he dislikes. So he waits, cheeks dimpled, to see if Chu Wanning will take his hand again, and show him how to write the characters.